piggy

So I am sitting at work, No one has been here so far today.

I can tell its going ot be a very boring day. I'm listening to American Nightmare even though I am not really interested in hardcore anymore.

I am not really interested in any music anymore.

I just listen to it to seem normal I guess.

There are a few bands that I actually enjoy listening to. Alkaline Trio being one.

I love Alkaline Trio because the remind me of Junior year, driving around with Lisa. I would always complain because she would just put the same song over and over again. But I would still sing along.

I miss those days sometimes.

I don't miss feeling trapped all the time though. That was the worst. I don't miss thinking about my ex boyfriend because there was no on else to think about. I don't miss being in school.

Maybe I don't miss much. Maybe I just miss Lisa. But at the same time I would never want to move in with her again. I like that we live far apart and hardly get to see each other. It makes me appreciate her more. I like talking to her online and playing FFR together. I like talking to her about boy problems.

And boy, are there a lot of problems.

There are some that I haven't told her about. But I'm sure she'll read this so I might as well say it.

A certain guy friend of mine (He has a very unusual name so I will not say it) no longer wants anything to do with me unless I become his girlfriend. This, to me is very unfair. i cannot make very many friends because most girls annoy me and most guys like me.

A few days back he told me he was in love with me. he says he can't tlak to me anymore because the fact that I am not with him hurts too much.

I'm sorry, but if I was in love with my friend and he didn't feel the same about me I wouldn't completely block this person out of my life. i would prefer to be friends instead of losing this person completely.

Sighh.

I was also talking to this other guy that i was involved with a while back and he asked me to write down what we did, all the fun adventures that we went on because he wanted to write about it but probably couldn't remember it all because he was drunk and I have a feeling he fried a lot of his brains since I last saw him.

So I wrote it al down and then I decided, "Hey I should do this with everyone."

Well I got to my first real boyfriend, I wrote about how we met, how he asked me out, about my favorite memories, my worst memories, and my most recent memories.

After that I realized how much of a joke 9th grade relationships are. And how silly it was of me to miss him for all those years.

One day, I will continue writing down my experiences, but for now, I am just going to write down what happens now.

Alright. Ryan just got online so i guess I'm just going to talk to him now.

Bye.